


A Gentleman Caller

by Kahvi



Category: Mighty Boosh (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-08-18
Updated: 2008-08-18
Packaged: 2017-10-17 00:07:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/170816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kahvi/pseuds/Kahvi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Originally written for that lovely <a href="http://colour-me-troll.livejournal.com/80562.html">anonymeme round yonder way</a>. The prompt was: <i>"A Julian character - not Howard or Rudi but a Julian-type character - as a ladykiller, smooth, charming, NOT boring them with jazz, and Vince falling for him."</i> I took it in a little bit of a different direction, shall we say. This version is dressed up and edited for primetime!</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Gentleman Caller

 

The phone rang.

It took Vince quite a while to realize that this was in fact what was going on. He really only ever used cellphones, and though he knew he must have used regular phones at some point in time (last week, wasn't it?), unfashionable things tended to confuse him. Still, though beige, it was fairly retro-looking, which helped a bit. Stalking through the flat like a nervous flamingo, Vince picked it up quickly, trying to take it by surprise. "Hello?"

Vince sighed as the familiar heavy breathing came out of the receiver.

"Look, Choco; you have got to stop phoning me."

"Choco put words into tube."

"Yeah, I know, they're good words. Look; It's not that I'm not flattered that you've started following me around," other than the fact that the bouncers in most of Camden's trendy clubs had started to give Vince dirty looks, like it was his fault a rambling man-monster was trailing him like a lost puppy. "It's just..." Vince looked around nervously. "Howard, you know? He'd go absolutely spare if..."

"CHOCO GO SPARE!!"

"No;" Vince said, hurriedly, lowering his voice, reeling from the onslaught of rumbling sound, "not now, OK? That's not what I mean. It's Howard; he doesn't like you."

"Howard."

"Yeah, you've met him, right?"

"Little jazz-man."

Vince felt vaguely offended. Well, not _offended_ , obviously, but just sort of feeling what Howard would feel. There was a word for that, wasn't it? He'd have to look it up later. Howard would know, but in this situation, it might be best not to ask him. "Well, he's not very little, is he, Choco? Smaller than you, but you're like walking tree, aren't you?"

"Jazz is taste like... difficult. Too many notes."

"Yeah, tell me about it." Mellowing somewhat, Vince twirled the cord of the phone around his fingers, leaning against the wall. He'd changed the wallpaper himself a few days ago, and the cheeky tartan pattern felt soothing. "You're coming to my party though, right?"

"Choco come party."

Trying not to sound too relieved, Vince disguised his nervousness with a giggle. "Good; great!" Despite everything, Choco really was a terribly handsome... whatever he was, with his long, lanky limbs and the shimmering smoothness where his eyes should be. And quite frankly, Vince hadn't gotten any since Howard's birthday party, and he'd really rather not think too much about that night. "Ah, we'll have the best time, Charlie's coming 'round..."

"Choco like Charlie."

"'Course you do; everyone loves Charlie."

"Not little jazz man."

Vince grimaced. "You'd better not call him that at the party."

"Choco come party."

"Yeah, you said." Vince tried not to roll his eyes. Good-looking or not, this could get tiresome after a while. He had better bring something more to the table, or...

"Make shiny-man's croch into funny shape."

Blushing furiously, and completely ruining the effect of his carefully applied blusher, Vince pushed himself further up against the wall, like he could somehow merge with it and camouflage himself. "All right, I'll see you there," he huffed out, in one breath.

For a moment, there was only confused, rumbly sort of breathing on the other end of the line. Then;

"Are you my wife?"

"No, Choco, we've been over this; I'm not a lady."

"Oooh... Shiny glittery wife-man..."

"I've got to go," Vince spluttered, hanging up with impressive speed. As on que, Howard stuck his head in the door.

"Who was that?"

Vince glared at him. "Nobody. Go drink your coffee."


End file.
